Heartfirst Real Talk from Jess.

The Painful Truth We All Must Learn

I’m forcing myself to write this article before I begin second-guessing myself and before my mind wanders back to politics (both of these things will inevitably have happened by the time you read this).  This piece is dedicated to all the hustlers, artists, entrepreneurs and dream-builders out there who have experienced that exasperating feeling of, “WTF.  I know I’m exceptional at what I’m doing – or the concept I created is phenomenal (or something similar), so why am I not moving forward fast enough?”

No one wants to talk about or acknowledge the event you spent weeks preparing for, when only a few people showed up — or when a potentially life-changing opportunity that seemed like a sure thing suddenly doesn’t pan out.  As an artist, a rollercoaster ride of career highs and lows is pretty much expected; and when I read about and speak with entrepreneurs from many fields, there are clear similarities.  To makes matters worse, it’s during our most challenging times that many of us learn that some of our nearest and dearest aren’t able to provide the emotional support and assurance we need (and even worse: that look of pity).

The most important thing to remember is that most people just don’t get it.  And that’s okay.  As hard as it is to let yourself down and to be let down by those you love, we need to remind ourselves of the wise words of Anaïs Nin: “We don’t see the world as it is.  We see the world as we are.”  I’m willing to bet that the same friends and family members who aren’t able to be there for you the way you hoped have been less than courageous in their own lives, making it harder for them to relate.  Don’t take it personally because it’s no one’s fault (this took me years to learn).  Rest assured, you will find other sources of support that will broaden your life in new and exciting ways.  Meanwhile, remember that many of life’s greatest success stories begin with failure and heartbreak and overcoming obstacles is a surefire way to develop extraordinary resilience, grit and inner strength.

My personal belief is that in these situations it’s very important to allow yourself to feel that sh*t deeply and process it.  Do whatever you need to do to express yourself and to experience a sense of release and relief – whether it’s journaling, working out or spending time with friends and family.  Trust your instincts when it comes to self-care.  Then, when you’re ready, consciously decide to remove the negative cloud you felt hanging over you and clear it from your system.  Stand in your light and own it.  I realize these words may sound a bit hokey, but I’ve personally experienced the powerful result of consciously choosing to transform a let down into something positive and I know it works.  Owning your feelings, your successes and your failures is incredibly empowering.

You are your greatest asset.  When we experience any type of struggle, we are forced to deeply connect with our most authentic self (whether we want to or not).  We need to make sure that even while we’re feeling down, we are still fully aware of the fact that we are our greatest asset.  And our greatness can’t be measured or changed by the result of an event, a failure or a success – but by how we live each day, how we respond to challenges, how we treat other people and how we move forward.  When we lead with our hearts and trust ourselves at a core level, there is no limit to our happiness and success.

Song For This Moment: “Remember Me”  by Daley & Jessie J :: unrelated lyrics but this song has a kickass and empowering quality that just works.

Related Articles:

The 5 Best Ways To Build Resiliency, article in Experience Life.

Get Gritty and Win“, article in NoBubblegum.

62 Business Leaders Answer What Does Success Mean To You?“, article in Under 30 CEO.

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